I was already fucking grumpy. I had not eaten since I was released from my 5 hour shift at my job and let me tell you: I was ready to take prisoners. After about…2 hours of driving, discussing and finagling; I finally convinced my mother to take me to Arriba’s Mexican Grill on Bell Road, in Phoenix. The place was packed of course because it was Friday and the time read 5:45 pm; apparently everyone in the valley had the same idea as to how to start the weekend.
I was ready to start it off with a few 99 cent margaritas, so I waltzed in the place and found my mother and I, a bar seat because a booth would take 20 minutes and I did not have 20 minutes of patience.
Perched at the bar-seat, our lovey waitress with her drawn on eyebrows and black, gel-set curls, brought me two salty, wonderful margaritas and a cute virgin margarita for mi madre. She had to drive. In the middle of my second sip, mother decided to leave me to go shopping on the avenue and promised to return within the hour. I have to admit that I was slightly disgruntled but I managed to make my way to the bar which teemed with 30-somethings watching a basketball game on the two separate television sets.
I ordered a beef chimichanga with beans and rice, while I continued to pound 99 cent margaritas. Let me tell you, it does not take very many to get you to where you want to be. After drink #5 and a few bites of my food, I was already over the moon and struggling to keep my composure.
That is about when I started concentrating on eating my $11.00 dollar meal and also drinking water because, come on…who wants to get sick? I began eating this massive and delicious looking burrito, but came to find it tasted like unseasoned ground beef and ass. I pushed it aside and relied on water and margaritas to sustain me, until my mom appeared at my side an hour later.
I was speaking clearly and my vision was still favorable, so she suggested I keep drinking, ya know, to get my money’s worth. Who doesn’t like a challenge? I ordered one last margarita (#7 at this point) and a beer (Corona) just for kicks.
Meanwhile as I consumed my liquor, my mother attempted to eat my leftover food, which consisted of damn-near the entire plate. But after a few tentative bites and half-attempts at actually eating the burrito, she tossed in the white flag. I was gagging the entire time just watching her try to eat the food. She looked up at me with doe-like eyes and said, “this food is not good”.
I laughed, gagged and then reluctantly signed the check. We left the place without taking the mystery meal with us. I consider it a lesson learned. The only reason to go to Arriba’s and pay $20 dollars would be to drink 20 margaritas…which is not possible because they make those babies STRONG…so my advice is: dine beforehand (and stick to the complementary chips and dip if you must eat) and focus on just the alcohol-your wallet and stomach will appreciate it.